How can it be this bad? How are we going to change it?

posted by Patty James @ 9:44am, Saturday 29 May 2010.

As I drove through South Chicago yesterday, my thoughts went to how did this happen and how can we all change it? I suppose the first answer is slowly and the second answer is the same. Boarded up buildings everywhere, few people out-no kids in sight. When I go back on Tuesday, I will take some photos and post them. Thankfully there are Boy's and Girl's Clubs there, so the kids can get into somewhere safe as there are shootings daily and gang life is prevalent. One young man, a former gang member, who one day walked into a Boy's and Girl's Club and was recently named 'Youth of the Year,' told the audience at his acceptance speech, that his Club encouraged him “to be myself.” He also credited the Club with helping him to get out of the gang life, being supportive, providing him with many experiences, and teaching him to “respect myself.” The President of the Club where he attends says that this young man now, “plays a huge role as a mentor and role model.” Well, there you have it. Helping one child helps many.

I stopped at two B&G Club's. The first I volunteered to help and will go back early Tuesday morning and the second one is where I have kid's interviews on Tuesday afternoon. The first one was bleak, but the second one-although the demographics are similar-the project which it served had grass around the buildings. This made all the difference as to how the place felt. An incredible difference actually. The director, Jim Pottinger, met me out front (the first one hustled me inside quickly) and showed me around some of the facility. He showed me their lunches. Before I tell you about the lunches, those who have been following me for a while, know how upset I was that in New Orleans, the kids didn't get lunches and they were hungry. O.K., so the lunches were a sandwich on whole wheat bread, an apple or orange and a bag of carrots. Yessss!.....I took a photo. He says they get paid (that's correct) to serve lunches to the kids. Why the disparity? I will find out....I am so happy that Jim also took out soda machines and other vending machines that served junk food. A healthy lunch and no junk. Congratulations to Jim and all the people who work there and especially to the kids who attend.

Here is the Director and my current hero -although I have many-we won't tell Jim  :)



Here is Marshall, who stand at least a foot taller than me, is 22 and in college. He attended this same B&G Club and now works there while in school. They were having a pool tournament in the afternoon and here is Marshall doing the brackets by hand. Actually Nakiya did almost all of them, but her photo didn't do her justice, so I will take another photo on Tuesday and post Nakiya then. Jim had to leave and Marshall gave me the official tour, then the three of us had a good chat about, well, everything. My kids are all in their 20's, so to me, these are my extended 'kids.'



Here is a request....they have tournaments (mostly pool and basketball but can be other sports and events) all the time and they always do these time-consuming brackets by hand when they are needed to do other things. I found a site where you can print your brackets for free, but they need big brackets where they can post it on the wall, so everyone can see them-perhaps 3' X 2 1/2'...Is someone willing to take this project on? If so, let me know and we'll find out how big exactly and how many teams/people should be on the brackets. You would also need to find someone, if not yourself, to pay for them and ship it to this B & G Club. Is this person you? It's an easy way to make a difference. Please post your willingness to help in the comment section, so we all know that someone/you! offered to help. I thank you and the staff and kids thank you. Here is the site I found: 
 http://www.printyourbrackets.com/16teamsingleelimination.html    .....There may be a better site (?)

I have been writing an article (is taking me a while) on personal patterns. Its really about simply noticing our patterns. If we feel we would serve ourselves by changing some patterns, then great, if not, that's o.k. too. I have many as it turns out-not all good. One is about my delayed reaction to some of these neighborhoods and kids in those areas like South Chicago. I feel really committed and energized after being around these kids. My mind swims with ideas and ways I can potentially make a difference, but I have a bit of an emotional crash. I don't while around the kids and staff (well sometimes around staff) but yesterday on the way back to Naperville, I felt sad and emotional and really teary. I don't feel like I'm doing enough, I feel frustrated. It's a big pattern. Granted it doesn't prevent me from going back-actually I am really (!) looking forward to going back on Tuesday, but still, I need to learn to shift this pattern as it serves no one.

My friend Karen Burke is a Certified Life Coach and helped me with kid's interviews in Massachusetts. She also volunteered to help me with some personal coaching, both in business and professionally. It's a very complicated questionnaire-not taking it-but interpreting it, but Karen is well trained to do this. By the way, Karen is also an engineer and an MBA-smarty pants... So the 75 questions should take no more than 20 minutes to answer but I whipped them out while in Maine in about 5 minutes. I answered with my first gut-reaction. I assumed that by doing so, I would get the most out of Karen's help. So, the results came in and I had my debriefing 2 nights ago. There are no right or wrong answers or results here. Karen said she had never seen anyone with 0% on the Victim scenario, which I did. I guess I don't go there. Skipping the next level for now, I scored well (again, there is no 'well') on the 'higher-level categories, so my attitude is good (I have 6 pages of notes-this brief summary is not doing this justice, by the way) Here's the biggie. I scored 38% in the 'Conflict' category. With 0% in the Victim category and this high percentage in Conflict, I pretty much blame myself for everything. People high in this category blame themselves, are not as emotionally satisfied as they would like to be, have not been in healthy relationships, feel they have not been appreciated, hold back emotionally, and often times have had a past experience that is unresolved. Whew...hum...This has truly opened up a Pandora's Box for me, as Victoria, my friend who I am staying with, will attest to. I have traveled through many emotional levels these past couple days and the above patterns have been life-long. I'm working on it now. After hearing some of my stories last night that I had not shared with Victoria (or anyone for that matter) after so many years of friendship, she is trying to help me with some past situations that I need to clear. I would recommend to everyone to go through this process with Karen. It is truly incredible. Her link is  http://www.gomobilus.com/

Tonight Victoria and I are going to see Sex and the City and then at 5:50 a.m. Sunday morning, I will be in Chicago for the morning news show at ABC Channel 7 News. It's a big audience evidently, so that's great. I also have a CBS show in Atlanta on Monday, June 7th, also a big show. The producer and I had a really nice conversation and he has already posted something on the site as has Channel 7 here. STL will have some really great exposure!

Lots to do today.....back to it!